Of Pubs and Pembroke Welsh Corgis
by The pH alchemist
Summary: The 'sequel' of sorts to Of Fjords and Flurries. The Avengers take London by storm; more light comedy ensues. Rated for language.
1. Introduction

**Here's my sequel to "Of Fjords and Flurries", same rules apply to this as the first one.**

 **Enjoy!**

"Move your ass, Clint, we're gonna miss the train!" Tony shouted back at his teammate.

"I'm not sure you noticed, but I'm hauling quite a large bag." Clint replied. "I could always just leave it."

"NO!" Everyone else shouted. Clint brought an extra bag to bring home all the souvenirs in, and he was currently threatening to dump it.

 _The 11:40 train to 'London Charing Cross' will depart in five minutes._ An overhead announcement declared.

"We've got five minutes, Steve, tell me we have only five minutes till we get there." Bruce said, trying to stay calm. "The next train doesn't leave for three hours-"

"We're here, we're here!" Steve announced, turning left and pulling out his map. The group had reached the ticket gates, their train just down the platform.

The steward barely had time to say 'train five to London' before the Avengers had flown through the turnstiles and leapt onto the train.

"Ok, ok, we can relax now." Steve said, sighing. "Just put the luggage on the rack here. Give me a hand, Thor."

Steve and Thor stacked the bags so the rest of the group could find their seats.

"I've got the tickets." Loki said, reaching into his backpack. "We're at the end of the next car, it looks like we have two, no wait, four seats around a table."

"Dibs on table." Natasha said. "I need to charge my phone."

"You know, if you just let me tinker with it, I could make it so your movement charges it." Tony suggested. "I can also get universal roaming, JARVIS hooks me up with the strongest connection."

"Where were you in Australia? There was no wifi at all!" Clint asked. "Do whatever the hell you want with my phone, as long as I don't need to keep praying for an unlocked wifi source."

Maneuvering through the train car, the group finally came to their indicated seats. Natasha sat down at the table, along with Tony, Clint, and Bruce. Steve and Thor came up and took the rear facing seats, and Loki snagged the last solo seat.

The train departed with a lurch, and the conductor came over the speaker. "Good morning everyone, this is the commuter Heathrow train service to London Charing Cross. We should be arriving in about 30 minutes, so sit back and relax. The dining car is in car 6, we are currently serving lunch as well as some assorted snacks. Please have your ticket ready for the steward, and, again, welcome aboard."

"If you guys need to get lunch, get something light, we have tea this afternoon at our hotel." Steve informed. "Charing Cross is only a bit of a walk from our hotel, the…." He dug through his phone. "The Corinthia. Coulson said it was close to the big sites around London, and there's a subway stop a few minutes away."

"We're in London now, Steve, the locals call it the Tube." Bruce said. "I picked up a tube map back in the airport."

"Hey Cap, let me see your phone." Tony said, holding out his hand. "I'm ramping everyone's devices up a bit, we can use roaming now for free, and I can get the itinerary to pop up in advance so you don't need to keep searching for it."

"Here, thanks." Steve replied, handing over his phone.

"What do you have in store for us on this adventure?" Thor asked.

"Well, we have tea at 4:00 today, but we have the entire afternoon to kill before that." Steve started. "I was thinking we could walk over to the London Eye, we've got tickets, then maybe see the aquarium? We have something called the London Pass, it gets us into certain places for free. The tea serves as our dinner, then we have some sort of bus tour in the evening, Coulson said it was one of the most popular tours in London. But for the rest of the week, we have a biking tour of the city tomorrow, Buckingham palace tour, we'll visit the tower of London and westminster abbey, and then a museum crawl. I'm sure we'll find more stuff to do as we go along."

The group disbanded for lunch, and Steve looked out the window. They were getting closer to the city, he could see the buildings off in the distance. This was gonna be so great, he just knew it.


	2. I Hope You're Not Afraid of Heights

"Steve, I hope to god we don't have to wait in that line." Natasha said, noticing the mass of people crowded in front of the London Eye.

"Erm, I don't believe so." Steve said, trailing off at the end to dig through his backpack. He removed a passport sized handbook from his pack and flipped through it. "Yeah, thought so. There's a separate line on the other side of this crowd. I just need to show them this."

The avengers had gotten to their hotel unscathed, and marveled at how grand it seemed. They had three connecting rooms with views over a central courtyard. Judging by all the amenities the hotel offered, Steve was worried that he'd have to allocate time just to explore the hotel itself.

But right across the river Thames was the London Eye, a massive ferris wheel that gave riders a beautiful view of the entire city. Trying to skirt the crowd, the group weaved through the mass of people before congregating at the other side of the dock.

"London Pass, is that what it's called?" Clint asked, pointing to the sign.

Steve nodded, walking up to the gate and handing over the passbook to a man with a hole puncher.

"Enjoy your ride." He said, stamping out the 'London Eye' part of the passbook.

There were twenty people per car, standing room only, but allowing still space for photos.

"Ok, before we move, let me get a photo of you guys." Bruce suggested, and the group moved towards the windows. "Say cheese!"

The car gave a lurch, and the ride started. They inched forward higher and higher.

"Must we only travel at this speed?" Thor asked. "I'd very much like to see the view from the top."

"They have to stop each car to let people off and on." Steve explained. "The ride around is about 40 minutes."

"Look Brucie! It's the globe theater!" Tony shouted, pointing east down the river.

"Yes, we're seeing a play there...Measure for Measure...on Tuesday evening." Steve replied.

"The lewd one?" Loki asked.

Steve blushed. "Oh my god, is it?"

"Woo hoo! Full Shakespeare experience!" Tony said excitedly. "It's not Shakespeare if it's not loaded with innuendos."

When the group finally reached the top, everyone had their cameras ready.

"Hey Steve, can you take a picture of me with parliament?" Natasha asked, handing over her camera. Just as Steve was about to take the photo, Clint jumped in behind her and photobombed. Steve laughed when he saw the final photo. This was going on his facebook page.

"Seriously Clint? We're not ten!" Natasha scolded, but had a smile on her face.

"So which of our destinations can we see from here?" Bruce asked.

"Parliament, the Globe, I think you can see Trafalgar Square from here. Let's see….our hotel is just down that way...I'm thinking that's it for now." Steve replied.

The car started down again, much to everyone's dismay. Suddenly, an announcement stated that there would be professional photos taken on the descent.

"Guys, we need to do a silly photo." Tony said. "Let's jump up at the same time."

When the camera came into view and the countdown began, the group positioned themselves towards the windows, then jumped as the camera flashed.

"Hope that worked." Steve said. "We can check it out in the gift shop when we leave."

 _In the Gift Shop_

"Does this sweatshirt make my butt look fat?" Tony joked, holding up a hoodie that said 'London' colored like the Union Jack.

"It sure as hell does." Clint replied, paying for his snow globe.

"Guys, guys, the next batch of photos came in." Steve said. "Come check it out."

The group gathered in front of the photo counter to see if their photo had been developed. Sure enough, there they were, some half in the air, others obscured by flying hair or limbs.

"I'm gonna buy it." Steve concluded. "We should get this framed."

"Yeah, we can put it next to the photo of us with snot in our hair after our dive in Australia." Nat remarked.

Steve bought the photo and stuffed it in his backpack. Checking his watch, he saw it was only 1:45.

"So we still have two hours to kill." Steve explained as they left the shop. "There's a pretty cool aquarium right next door, we could hang out there."

"What's your definition of 'pretty cool'?" Tony asked.

"They have a glass walk over a tank of sharks."

"...Ok, I'm in."

 **If you guys ever go to London, you need to see a play at the Globe theater. I got to see 'Measure for Measure', the same play described in the story. Despite not being very vulgar in text, on stage they took every opportunity, some even unscripted (one of the actor's pants fell down revealing him buck naked underneath), to make dirty comedy. It was so worth it.**


	3. A Tour to Forget

**Ok, just a quick word about this next chapter:**

 **We did this "ghost bus tour" because the hotel concierge said it was very popular. I have no idea why. It was cheesy, uncomfortable, and the only good part about it is when we drove past St. Barts and saw where BBC filmed the episode of Sherlock where he jumps off the roof of the hospital. And the bus was packed! We nearly didn't get on because so many people had bought tickets. And they enjoyed it! People were clapping! It was god awful!**

 **See for yourself**

Steve knew that the tour was going to suck as soon as he saw the bus. It was an old double decker bus painted black, with dark curtains lining the windows, a shrunken head hanging from the rear view mirror, and the words 'London Necrobus' painted across front. But, being the optimist he is, decided not to judge until the end.

Big mistake.

"Steve, these guys have a prop shrunken head in the front window, are you sure this is the tour Coulson signed us up for?" Bruce asked.

Steve looked down at the printed out confirmation. "Yes, it's a london ghost bus tour, and it said to meet right here."

"You don't know Coulson." Clint said. "He'd do something like this just to screw with us. Watch it be a total waste of time."

"If we bail on this there's still time to catch the 8:45 showing of Phantom of the Opera." Loki suggested, nose buried in his guide book.

"Guys, just give it a chance." Steve said.

"Yeah, and if they suck, they'll have a negative Yelp! review from Tony Stark, no one can combat that." Tony replied. "Let's get a seat in the front."

The line to board the bus was long, and the group was the last to get seated, filling two sideways benches in the back of the lower level. Suddenly, the lights dimmed, and a man dressed in a victorian style trench coat entered.

"Welcome to the London Necrobus, before we get started, please remain sitting the entire tour, please no flash pictures, and respect the curtain." He said, the curtain being the one separating the seating area from the loading area. "I'm Chip, I'll be your guide this evening."

The bus started to move, heading towards Trafalgar Square. Chip began talking about the history of the 'necrobus', that it used to be a hearse back in the day.

Clint rolled his eyes. "Of _course_ this was a herse back in the day."

Passing Buckingham palace, they drove south towards the river. As they made the turn, some delighted screams sounded from the upper level.

"What's happening?" Thor asked.

The curtain was thrown aside to reveal a large man dressed similarly to the guide Chip, only he resembled more a meth addict than a cheerful tour guide. Staring sullenly ahead, he marched to the front of the bus, looking down at some of the passengers, before stopping and turning back. He remained in the center of the bus.

Chip gave a nervous laugh. "Well, isn't this a surprise, this is Mr. Bell, with the tour company. Looks like a surprise inspection."

"'Surprise inspection' my ass." Natasha muttered.

They crossed the river and entered South London. Chip proceeded to tell them of some ghosts from the Victorian age, before the bus ground to a halt.

"That's strange...the driver's telling me the bus won't work." Chip explained. "Let's give him a second to restart the engine."

"The engine never turned off." Tony scoffed. "He must think we're all stupid."

"While we're waiting, the building behind me is St. Barts hospital, and the far corner is where they filmed the episode of Sherlock where Sherlock jumped from the roof."

Every one of the avengers stood up and whipped out their phones to get a shot.

When they sat back down, the lights started to flicker, and poor quality sound effects started filtering through the 'hidden' speakers.

"Wha..what was that?" Chip asked dramatically. Screams sounded from the upper level as a voice crescendoed down the loudspeakers.

"MARTHA!" It shouted in a hoarse, ghosty voice."

"Oh, no! A ghost, Brucie, save me!" Tony mocked.

"Everyone, just remain calm..wait-"

"We need to evacuate this bus, there is a ghost on board." Mr. Bell said, confiscating the microphone. "I got a photo of it on my camera."

"Ghost, you must be joking!" Chip said in a fake cheery voice.

"Clint, be a doll and wake me up when it's over." Natasha said before leaning her head on Thor's shoulder next to her.

The bus started up again, and Mr. Bell returned upstairs to show off his photo. Chip returned to telling his semi-believable ghost stories. Ten minutes passed without incident, and Natasha, Loki, and Bruce had nodded off. Steve looked on in embarrassment. They should've just bailed and went to see the theater show.

The lights started to flash again, and the ghost voice started chanting 'Martha' again.

"Who's Martha?" Mr. Bell asked.

That's when Steve fell asleep.

When the bus finally reached the hotel again, Tony just about cried. He had suffered through the most cheesy, low budget, C-list horror plot of a tour, and he wasn't even lucky enough to have fallen asleep. As everyone gave 'Chip' and 'Mr. Bell' an enthusiastic round of applause, Tony reached over and shook his teammates awake. Stretching, the group couldn't leave the bus fast enough.

"Alright, on a scale of one to infinity, how terrible was it?" Clint asked, cracking his lower back.

"Sorry, guys." Steve said. "I thought Coulson would plan something interesting."

"Eh, we'll get him back when we go home." Tony replied as the group started walking back to their hotel.

"So I fell asleep early, how did they resolve the 'ghost' story?" Bruce asked.

Tony rolled his eyes. "So some senile old lady was murdered on the bus and allied with the ghosts of the people who rode in the bus to try to take it over. I don't really understand it myself."

"I think the best part was seeing where they filmed that episode of _Sherlock_."

"You think a tour that bad wouldn't be popular, but you saw how crowded that bus was." Natasha remarked.

"Yeah, as these 'ghost tours' we've done go, I think this was the worst." Clint replied.

"Truly." Thor agreed. "I enjoyed last year's one the best."

Steve hung his head. "Despite running out halfway through, I have to agree with you."

"If you guys want, there's a 10:00 showing of The Lion King." Loki said.

The group exchanged looks, checked their watches, then hailed a taxi.


	4. A Toast Farewell

The sun hadn't yet set, but the pub was still overflowing with patrons. Seven of these patrons crowded around a table outside, food and drink in front of them.

"What time's the flight tomorrow?" Tony asked, looking at the beer menu.

"Early enough that you would be miserable with a hangover." Steve replied, picking away at his Scotch Egg. Tony shrugged and ordered anyways.

"But seriously though," Bruce picked up, checking his watch, "when do we need to leave?"

"We need to be outside the hotel at 6:30 tomorrow morning, there's a driver who will take us and our luggage right to the terminal." Steve explained. "They've boxed up a breakfast for us, too."

"At least this flight won't be as long as the one home from Australia." Natasha remarked, sipping her mixed drink. "Don't have to listen to Thor snoring for 16 hours."

Thor looked up briefly from his fish and chips, but then returned to his meal.

"Let's see, what do we have to check off the bucket list from this trip." Clint said, pulling out his phone. "White water rafting in Voss, kayaking on the fjord, riding the Tube…"

"First person to find a picture of one of us passed out can drive one of my cars." Tony shouted, and he, Loki, Clint, and Natasha started to furiously flip through their respective cameras.

"I'm glad we got to see Buckingham Palace." Bruce said, though no one was really paying him any mind.

"Found one!" Natasha said, turning her camera around.

"Hey, you didn't take that one!" Clint said. It was a picture of Natasha, head resting on the shoulder of an equally comatose Thor, during the horrible ghost bus tour the first night. "I took it, so that means I win!"

"I found one of Tony in the lake." Loki said, and everyone crowded around to see. All except for Tony, who was grumbling about the team ganging up on him.

"Well, Steve-o, you planned the trip, how'd it go?" Tony asked, stealing one of Steve's fries.

"Hmm," Steve started, reaching over and stealing one of Tony's fries, "Given that 64 images off my memory card weren't wasted on some unimportant rock, I think it went pretty well."

"I thought the fjords were beautiful." Natasha added.

"I liked the food." Bruce remarked.

"Leave it to Bruce to like goat cheese." Clint said, earning some side-eye from said scientist.

"Although, I will say, you've been picking all the trips lately." Natasha brought up. "I want to pick the next one."

Steve shrugged. "I'll take suggestions."

And at that moment, six different people shouted out seven different answers (Clint shouted out two). Steve held up his hands. "Ok, ok, I'll look into it."

Little did they know, he was already formulating in his mind another team trip, one to a much warmer, peninsular location.

As the sun went down, each of them started to recall some amusing anecdote from the trip, whether it be Steve accidentally knocking over a chair in Buckingham Palace to Tony ordering a "cat" of coffee in Oslo. The bar was still in full swing when they decided to pay the tab and head back to the hotel. On the way, they passed the black double decker bus from the ghost tour.

Everyone booed.

 **And that is all! I hope you enjoyed this virtual tour through Norway and London. Cookies to those who can guess where in the world the Avengers will be going next!**

 **Cheers!**


End file.
